The Object of My Child's Affection
Every parent's been through it; you're on the way out the door, and your little one is making you late in search of his favorite teddy bear. Or maybe your seven month old won't stop fussing in her room because her binkie is out of reach. As a caretaker you know how debilitating a comfort item can be in your life. On the other hand, to your children the lack of his tattered and worn out stuffed animal is what may feel constricting. Security objects are just what they sound like, and are a significant, healthy part of being a kid.
By the time children reach 1 year, they've established a comfort or security item that is right by them at nearly all times. In children younger than one, a pacifier or even their thumb will usually work nicely to calm and relieve them in their time of need. As your little one matures into a toddler, they could find something that is more physically satisfying such as a favorite stuffed animal or blankie. It is believed that the soft texture of these toys is responsible for the protecting effect they have on children. Toddlers will often rub a blanket on their face or arm or stroke a teddy to get comfort.
Another security feature a toddler can find with a comfort object is the association they make with you. The material of a blanket rubbed on your child's cheek could remind him or her of your clothing while you hug or cradle them. Or maybe the stuffed animal has been a part of their naptime or sleep ritual you and your child have established. Once again, the association of you giving comfort to your toddler or making him or her feel shielded is what causes the attachment to these comfort items. On occasion children will make a security object out of unusual objects. Just about anything from a pair of socks to a hard toy. While the attachment could be less apparent, there is likely some emotional connection the child has made to get security or comfort from the item.
Although it may be inconvenient for you to live with a child's continuous need for their teddy bear or blanket, it is essential to remember that this part is significant and healthy. The world is uncertain to a small child, particularly as they advance to their first birthday. It is within these early years that children suffer from separation anxiety just as they're more likely to be separated from you because of a sitter, nursery school, or even by their own choice as they're exploring their world. Through a comfort item, your child is finding a way to soothe himself when you aren't there and as they magnify their independence. Think about it as a temporary crutch to get them through this growing transition.
It usually isn't until age 3 or 4 that she or he begins to control and regulate their emotions and do not need to rely on a comfort object for soothing, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development expert. It is also at this age that carrying a worn blankie might seem less accepted by their friends. Who knew our children had peer pressure issues at such a young age? Anyway, it's perhaps best for you the parent to appreciate this stage of your child's development as the experience that it is. When you do so you will promote their growth and development. Something that is most certainly worthy of short term frustration.
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